Chapter Thirty-Seven

Jon rolled over and scratched his chest before stretching his arms out into the bed. When the blinding headache crept up into his eyes he swore.

“Fuck me.”

The light of day was intrusive and bloody bright. He sat up and yawned, looking over at the woman shaped curve that was left in the sheets. The aftertaste of tequila was still fresh on his lips. God, he couldn’t even remember who was in his bed last night? Betty? Or was it Bridget? Christ.

He stood and shucked on his jeans before padding through to the living area of the suite that the band was sharing, his head screamed for coffee. Now.

David was the only one sitting at the table reading the newspaper, the aroma of fresh coffee had his belly stirring.

“Morning sleepyhead.” He flipped his page and didn't look up.

Jon found a mug and poured himself a coffee, he took a long sip and sighed.

“Hey, where is everyone?” The sun was already high in the sky, it had to be past lunchtime and it was a no-show day.

“Went out for breakfast, Doc felt generous.”

Jon rubbed his temples, “fuck, is there an aspirin around here?” He tugged open the drawer and fished through the cutlery.

“You need more than aspirin Jonny.” And still David didn’t look up.

Jon raised his brow and shook his head, what the fuck was he on about now? He ignored him, he really wasn’t in the mood for pissy band mate moods this morning.

It had been two days since they’d moved on and Callie had left them. It was just five days out until Christmas, and then new years would be upon then and the end of the tour. Thank fuck, he was bone dead tired.

He picked up the phone without a second thought and dialled her number, he had no idea the day of the week, he just thought she might be home. When the call clicked onto her machine he sighed. “Hi Callie, it’s Jon. Thought I’d say hi, see what’s up. We’re moving out of here today so I’ll try again later. See ya.”

“Real smooth Johnny.” David flicked the page over and continued reading.

Jon slammed the receiver down, “ok man, what the hell is wrong? Did I commit a crime or something?”

“Depends what state you’re in.”

God, at times he was sick of living with the guys, he did his best to make this damn band work, and they didn’t have a lot yet but he wasn’t in the mood to hear them complain about more shit.

He opened a cupboard and found a box of aspirin but tossed it across the room when it was empty. “Fuck this. All I want is some fucking aspirin.”

“Guilt is a dangerous thing Jonny.” David folded the paper over and tucked it into quarters.

Jon slammed his palm down on the counter. “Ok. What the hell are you on about Bryan?”

“Did Miss Tits satisfy you last night?”

Jon goggled, “What’s that supposed to mean? You were with that pretty brunette when I left that party.”

David shook his head and chuckled. “Yea, I’m not married Jon.”

Jon’s eyes cast down to the plain band on his finger. Well shit, he wasn’t really married either—well technically he was, but they decided it was just for the show purposes. Right? They’d evidently become friends in the process, he liked her.

“You know that’s not how it really is,” Jon muttered curling his fingers into fists.

“That’s debatable, but that’s not the point. We know that but the general public doesn’t, all they see is a man-whore. A guy that sleeps around from his wife.”

Jon bit back the curse he wanted to let fly. “Why is it debatable.”

David stood, grabbed his mug and headed for the coffee perc. “Please, who are you kidding? That girl cares about you.”

“And I care about her,” he was quick to defend. Christ, he did, what the fuck was his point here.

“You really are stupid Jon, she came all the way down here to take you to a nice hotel and rest and god knows what else.”

Jon cocked his eyebrow, “so what we had sex? Big deal. She knows what the situation is.”

“Does she?”

David’s stare burned through him, right down to his gut. “Of course she did, I convinced her to stay married to me. She doesn’t care what I do, only that its not public.”

“That was when you were married Jon, things have changed a bit from then. And quite frankly you’ve been an asshole since she left.”

He scratched his throat, “I have not. I’m just fucking tired.” He paused as the other half of his sentence sank in, true things had changed since he was married. They’d grown somewhat closer, understood each other a little more, that was it. Wasn’t it?

“Yes you have Jonny, snappy and it’s like you’ve had your period or something.”

“Fuck off Bryan, what the hell is your problem?”

David cupped his mug and stared out the window. “So you are telling me if Callie was going out and sleeping with a bunch of guys, you’d have no problem?”

The growl in his throat surprised him as a flash of Callie in bed with another man, cut through to his knees. Some bastard’s hands all over her, touching making her groan the way he made her groan, sucking on her nipples and plunging into her heat…the way he had.

David chuckled after the long pause that echoed through the room. “Thought so.”

“She’s not with anyone else,” he offered, knowing that it didn’t mean shit.

“You know that’s not the point Jonny, and you damn well know it. Just because Doc’s throwing girls at you, doesn’t mean you have to take them Jon. I thought you had more class than that.”

He raked his hands through his hair, and snagged the packet of the cigarettes. “You know nothing about what we’re doing.” He flicked the lighter into life. Fucked if he knew, he thought he did.

“She’s a good kid Jonny, I don’t want her to get hurt so if you don’t feel the same way she feels about you. Tell her.”

He whirled around nearly sending his coffee into the wall. “The way she feels about me? A friend, she came out here as a friend.”

David raised his hand and slapped the back of his head. “You are so fucking stupid. How many friends come out and take their "friends" away for nights of sex and Christ, when you two were together, there’s a certain way a girl looks at a guy… and you just know.” He took Jon’s cigarette and took a drag. “You just know man.”

“Are you still drunk man? She wouldn't fall for a guy like me, she's not into all this.” Was he asking, or convincing himself? Shit.

“Why would it be an issue, considering you feel the same about her.”

David slapped his back and walked out leaving Jon staring into space, his heart pounding in his ears.

What in the fuck, he didn’t – god he couldn’t, he-

The door clicked open and Richie strode in. “Hey Jonny boy, you missed out on a good slap up breakfast, whoa who died?”

Jon felt the bile in his throat bubble, who the fuck did David think he was? He had no idea what he felt.

“David seems to think Callie and I are in love.” Richie didn't flinch, he laughed and sat down in the chair.

“Oh right, yea – well tell me something I don’t know.”

Jon’s eyes shot to his friend’s relaxed brown ones. “What?”

Richie snorted, “You heard. You love her. She loves you, its not rocket science.”

Jon sank down into the couch slowly. “I do?” His mind was racing, or was it his heart? What the hell was Richie on, still last night's shots?

“If she died tomorrow, how would you feel bro?”

Jon’s belly flip flopped, and the instinct to throw up he smashed down. “I’d be sad, no one deserves to die.” All this time? God, he was a stupid ass. He felt like he could tell her anything and that she understood him, better than some people that he’d known for years. He understood her, well not with her damn father’s manipulative ways, but he damned well cared about her.

He dug his fingers into his eyes as he tried to make sense of this whole shit. They were married. They agreed to stand each other and they grew close together because of circumstance? Could they possibly have fallen in love by circumstance as well?

Well fuck.

“You’ve been a jerk Jonny. Plain and simple. You know me, I love the ladies as much as anyone. But I draw the line when I’m supposed to be in love with someone else.”

“Yeah, I know. Rich – I just… fuck.”

Richie laughed. “Didn’t see that coming huh?”

“Why didn’t you fucking tell me this?”

“You wouldn’t have listened. You’ve been a grumpy bastard the last few days. That should tell you enough.”

“I’m always grumpy these days.”

“Would you be if Callie was here?”

Jon closed his eyes again, “Jesus.” He couldn’t be. He didn’t have time for love, his career was just getting started. Hell, who said Callie wanted to actually live in his life. What happened if he actually made something of himself through his music? How would he sustain a decent relationship?

The hangover competed with the nerves swimming in his belly. Now that it was in his head, he couldn’t shake it. Did he really love her? Weren’t you supposed to just know these things? This was just too much to even consider at this point.

“You really think she loves me?” He finally asked after his head went around and around with the possibilities. How could she, god he’d been an asshole. He hadn’t let up on the girls, and it wasn’t even always Doc pushing them down his throat, or – pants as this case was.

Damn it, he hated when David was right.

Richie grinned, “Dude. She does, trust me.”

He buried his head into the cushion, he was pretty good knowing when females were showing interest, so why the hell hadn't he seen this? God, the nights they spent together had been unreal, even he had to admit that. But wasn't it all just good sex? He jumped off the couch and paced around the room. There was no way, god he'd have to talk to her, not on the phone but face to face when he got home.

"Remember when you used to call her on the road?"

Jon spun around and faced his friend, who was looking ever so non chalent. "Yeah, so?"

"Your moods spin 360 when you' ve talked to her."

"Oh bullshit, this is just ridiculous. It's nice to talk to someone away from all this shit, that's all." Jon chewed on the tip of his thumb nail as it all sank in, and he still needed an aspirin. Fuck, make that two.

"I don't want to talk about this, I need a fucking shower." He stalked off towards the shower only to stop dead in his tracks as Richie had the last word.

"Truth hurts sometimes bro."

He slammed the bathroom door so hard, he was sure that it would fly off its hinges.

Fuck that shit. He was not in love with her.

He couldn't be.