Chapter Fifty-One

Jon lay down and zipped up his pants, the ripped loose tank barely covered anything on his top half, he didn’t mind as it kept him cool and the ladies certainly didn’t complain. He fixed his hair and grabbed his eyeliner pencil, he popped the cap and grinned. When Callie had come out to Florida she’d sat in this dragon’s den and helped him apply his make-up.

“Where’s Callie? Is she outside?”

Richie nodded, “she’s waiting where you left her. Did you sort out things with her?”

Jon picked up the scarves and grabbed his leather jacket. “No, I wanted to talk to her but I got interrupted. I will though.” He made his way out of the dressing room. He didn’t have the time now, but later he’d make sure he talked to her. This thing between them that was still so very there, he didn’t want it to go away. He just had to find a way to make her not want it to either.

He headed up to the backstage area and stopped, she was standing looking out to the opening band. God she was pretty, perfect tight curvy body that he knew well, and her brown hair tousled over her shoulders. And those blue eyes, which he realized now, saved him more than he ever needed to be.

“Hey,” he whispered climbing up the stairs to join her in the wing.

“Hey – what are you doing here? Someone might see you.”

He cupped her chin and lifted her lips to his. “I needed to do that.”

She sighed, “Jon you gotta stop doing that.”

He chuckled, “I can’t help it Callie. You’re beautiful.” He held her chin when she went to look away. “I mean it. But now, I need you’re help.”

Her eyes searched his, “what with?”

He held up his eyeliner pencil and her eyes went big and she laughed. “Oh, I see. Don’t you have make-up artist yet?” She asked taking it out of his fingers.

“Not one as pretty as you. Remember last time?” His hand wound around her waist and he dragged her in, breathing in that sweet smell of women, the one woman that mattered to her. He’d just be so blind for long to see it.

Their lips bumped and she laughed and tapped his nose with the end of the pencil. “You want me to do this or not?”

“I’d prefer this—“The kiss was deeper, right down to his toes he felt her moan as he plunged deeper into it.

She pressed her hands against his chest gently, “Jon---I”

He stood back and looked up, “I’m ready.” He took a breath as she smoothly coated under his eyes with the pencil.

“There, rock star complete.”

He took the pencil back off her and took her hands. “Callie—I wanted to say something to you before. We need to talk, I need to talk—tonight.” He pressed his lips to her hands and held them there for a second. “I love you.” He looked back up at her his belly twisting in knots as tears flooded her sweet eyes, “don’t say anything. We’ll talk tonight but I want you to know, I’m serious Callie.”

He left her there, as much as he wanted to make her say it back, as much as he wanted to tell her how very sorry he was. This wasn’t the time. Hell, he should have never said it to her now, it wasn’t fair.

But she had to know, she had to know she’d become more to him than anyone before. He needed her, even under the old Callie there was something so strong and reassuring to him. But the new Callie was a rock. She was what he needed, and she was what he needed.

“All set?” Doc came out into the corridor.

“Yup, all set to go—Doc just make sure Callie is ok and comfortable.”

Doc nodded and out his hand on his shoulder, “I will Jonny. Least I can do.”

He had a show to do, but it would be nothing compared to the performance of his life he’d have to put on after the show for Callie.

~

She wiped her tears and made her way back to the side stage once the opening band left the stage. She needed to pull herself together, these kisses had to stop as each one floored her. She raked her hand through her hair, god and then he had to go and say the words.

Callie knew Jon well enough to know when he stared right through you and said something, he meant it. She didn’t know what to do with the information, hell—she wasn’t even sure herself what he now meant to her. She once was in love with him and she once wished the day would come where he’d love her back.

But now? After everything? She wasn’t sure she could handle it.

“Here.” She looked up from her seat, Doc handed her a glass with a brown liquid in it.

She took it, “thanks.” She needed a lot more than whiskey right now.

“I underestimated you Callie. And I’m sorry I did that. I underestimated Jon’s respect for you as well.”

She let it burn her throat. Coming here was a mistake, she wasn’t prepared to deal with this—thing her and Jon had between them. “Thanks,” was all she could manage. Maybe it was true. Maybe he was sorry and maybe he did love her, but hell could she really go back there after all that had happened.

The band soon came out to a thunderous crowd, in just ten months when she saw him last ---things had changed. He was more confident, more in charge of the stage than he ever was. He had no issues before but now, Christ now he was a demon. The lights sliced up the walkways as he strutted and played it for the crowd.

Her lips curved in a smile, god he was in his element. He sucked in every single person in that audience and they lapped it all right up. It’d be easy to get drunk on that power, and maybe that’s what happened when they were together, it was new it was intoxicating. It was never an excuse but maybe things were so big he just couldn’t say no.

Stop making excuses for him.

After a dozen songs he pulled out an acoustic guitar and took the centre of the stage, “this is a song we wrote in Richie’s basement earlier this year.” His eyes met hers and she smiled.

As I sit in this smokey room
The night about to end
I pass my time with strangers
But this bottle's my only friend

His voice was as raspy, she hadn’t really realized that his voice was under strain but remembering the way he spoke last night after a concert, it was apparent this was taking its toll.

Remember when we used to park
On Butler Street out in the dark
Remember when we lost the keys
And you lost more than that in my backseat baby…

He turned and looked through her, the rest of the stadium could have disappeared, as she stared back at him. She remembered the nights they’d made love, no one had ever made her like all that mattered was her. They’d connected deeper on a level she wasn’t prepared to admit, all over a stupid bag of Doritos.


Remember how we used to talk
About busting out - we'd break their hearts
Together - forever

Never say goodbye, never say goodbye
You and me and my old friends
Hoping it would never end
Never say goodbye, never say goodbye
Holdin' on - we got to try
Holdin' on to never say goodbye


The nights they’d spent in each others arms just talking, listening him to talk about his career, telling her to do the same with hers. The only person that ever believed in her, it was then she realized that it was more than that. It was because he loved her. People that believe in you love you.

Why did he have to go and hurt her like crazy, she fell for every word of it? She had no doubt he meant it, but the actions spoke louder than words at the time. She wasn’t prepared to be made a fool of while her husband went and cheated on her. Why did he have to do that? And ruin everything that they had, and still could have.

Never in her life had she imagined the one person that would be compatible for her, was Jon. But he really was….he was someone that threw her in directions she’d never thought of before, someone that propped her up when she needed it, someone that gave her tough love. Someone that she had fun with.

Someone that she loved.

Tears fell freely as she listened to the chorus build and every note hit her harder in the guts. She bit her lip, but nothing could stop the tears that flowed. She just wanted him; she couldn’t do this---this thing she was in. Juggling her father’s demands, studying for the most important exams of her life and be alone. She needed him, she needed him to tip her scales of sensibility that he did so well. She had never realized it until now.

He loved her, could she have all this back? Was it really not too late to say goodbye to what was ---what was staring her in the face. A future with him?

What if she fell for him all over again and this happened again? Could she trust him? Her head screamed yes, but her heart stomped no.

Could she let the hurricane that was Jon back into her heart and damn the consequences?

We danced so close
We danced so slow
And I swore I'd never let you go
Together – forever

The words blurred, much like her heart and mind. She loved Jon. More than she ever thought was possible, but why did it scare the holy hell out of her? Those nights alone, dealing with her father and while she knew he was off finding the next piece of ass.

She rubbed between her breasts absently, her lungs were tight. She needed to get out, get away from him. He was so overwhelming. She couldn’t think straight. She had to get out of here, to think clearly. She rose and grabbed her jacket and slipped out the back---and ran down the deserted corridor to the exit. She fumbled with the door but it wouldn’t open. “Dammit—come on!”

“Callie.” She spun around her, Doc was standing there.

“Please, just let me out of here. Now.” She wiped her tears and stood back from the door.

He clicked the lock and held the door open, “are you ok?”

“Just ---don’t tell him.” And she disappeared out the door.